Forget being bitter, the best thing you can do is to strive forward and make your new life everything you ever dreamed of!
Divorces are crap. If you haven’t been through one, you don’t know really, even if you have had a close friend or family member go through one, you still don’t really know. You’ll have seen the emotional rollercoaster it causes, but you only really get the full understanding, if you ever have the misfortune to go through one yourself.
Now I am not saying they are all as awful as each other, it depends on who you are dealing with, oh and whether or not you have to get the family lawyers involved.
My advice, try not to get them involved. You’ll only end up thousands of pounds down and will probably come out with the deal that you would have got had common sense been applied in the first place. However, if you need one, you need one.
How can you get a mortgage after a divorce?
When it comes to the property you live in there are a few different ways that you can sort out what happens to who lives where. Ultimately the children, if you have them, should be subjected to as minimal disruption as possible, and a court will back this up. Can one of you stay in the family home? Can you afford it on your own? Should you sell and split the proceeds? There are a few options and after exploring them all you can choose the one that hopefully suits you both best and if you have children, them too.
It’s a highly emotional time and that doesn’t help at all when you are trying to make decisions. You have decided to separate/divorce and now you are having to almost work together again when all you probably want to do is throttle each other…
The process of getting a mortgage post-divorce is really the same as usual. During the divorce, you might want to make sure what sort of property you could be purchased with either the proceeds of the divorce or what sort of mortgage you could get with your wages and maintenance, but ultimately it will be down to the lender's criteria for these things. An adviser can give you an idea of this.
Can I use maintenance payments for affordability?
Certain lenders will allow 100% of maintenance if it is court-ordered, or a percentage if it isn’t. Some won’t allow it at all, plus of course, it will depend on the age of the children.
Also, usually, lenders will use a ‘standard’ amount of monthly expenditure, but if you can demonstrate that you regularly spend less than this, a few lenders will take this into account when considering your affordability.
The other thing to get your head around is that you may well be downsizing, which stands to reason as you are splitting your financial life in half. It will take some getting used to maybe, or just maybe the sense of relief and freedom that you can get once it is all done will more than makeup for this. It is your own space, you let in who you want and make it how you want (trust me it’s great).
Should you use a mortgage adviser to get your mortgage?
All in all, it’s a stressful, confusing, emotional time. You will feel like making all the decisions at once and then in a heartbeat, none at all, or you’ll bury your head in the sand and hope that they will sort themselves out or even go away… not recommended!
Even though I am bound to say that you should use a mortgage broker, because I am a mortgage broker, I really do mean it. You won’t have the time or the will to start trawling through all your different options, why not let me help you. It is one less stress to think about and I have been where you are right now. Trust me it helps to have a sympathetic ear around, that isn’t emotionally involved. Your friends will be fuming and out for blood, and so they should. But sometimes this can be confusing, when it comes to your mortgage/home buying options, it helps to have an experienced broker on your team, providing calm, independent advice.